Written in response to a semi-challenge on Goodreads, when I snarkily responded to a friend's talk about "b&b" angles on a fairy tale and said "bed and breakfast" even as I knew it was "Beauty and the Beast" knockoff talk:
Once upon a midnight dark and dreary
Sleepless in the bed with eyes so bleary
Because their breakfast had made me teary
There be dragons there, hear ye, hear ye!
The beauty smoked Gauloises in the park
While the beast lurked behind her in the dark
The tale of pending horror loomed so stark
There be dragons there, out on a lark!
The beast was Jack, indeed the Ripper
But the beauty brained him with her slipper!
It was glass, remember, sized to fit her
But her stride uneven might just trip her
The three-inch heel like that of stripper?
There be dragons there with smoked kipper.
It WAS the mightiest beast in the parkland forest
And that herring cut it down to death most goreless.
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